2020-06-20 12:14![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grok_mctanys
grok_mctanysProducer: So, you have a youtube script for me?
Writer: Yes sir, I do!
Producer: What's it about?
Writer: Well, it's for the newest episode of our YouTube series, "BoJo derps a Brexit", and this one is about the upcoming trade deal with Australia.
Producer: Go on...
Writer: Well, I've managed to make this one super short and punchy - it's less than a minute long!
Producer: Won't it be difficult to put in the sponsored product placement in an episode that short?
Writer: Actually it was super easy, barely an inconvenience!
Producer: Oh, really?
Writer: Yeah, I go straight into it. See, here's how the sketch starts:
INT PRESS BRIEFING ROOM
BOJO: Think of the potential that we have. I want a world in which we send you Marmite, and you send us Vegemite. But first...
BOJO HOLDS UP A PACKET OF TIM TAMS, AWKWARDLY TO CAMERA, GURNING.
BOJO: ...I'd like to thank the sponsor of this episode, these wonderful Arnott's Tim Tams. How long can the British people be deprived of the opportunity to have Tim Tams...
BOJO WAVES PACKET OF TIM TAMS AROUND DOWN TO OBVIOUSLY DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THEM
BOJO: ...at a reasonable price? Don't forget to Like and Subscribe, and hit the Bell icon if you want to be notified whenever we release a new video.
BOJO PUTS THE PACKET OF TIM TAMS DOWN OFF CAMERA
BOJO: Anyway, there is a huge amount that we can do...
Producer: That works!
Writer: Thanks, I worked hard on it.
Producer: There are a couple of things though. First, BoJo should say "Arnotts Tim Tams" the second time, and definitely emphasise "Arnotts".
Writer: Won't that sound kind of forced? Does anyone call them that when discussing them in real life?
Producer: No, but Arnotts are insisting on it as part of the sponsorship deal.
Writer: Oh, OK. Pleasing the sponsors is tight!
Producer: But secondly, because this is a political broadcast, it doesn't have to be held to the same advertising standards as regular youtube videos. You don't have to draw attention to that fact that it's a sponsored segment.
Writer: Wow wow wow wow wow. Wow.
Producer: So, just say that we can send Australia penguins in return instead, or something
Writer: ...but isn't Australia closer to Antarctica than us?
Producer: Penguin biscuits.
Writer: Whoops!
Producer: Whoopsie!
Writer: Should I call them "McVitie's Penguins"?
Producer: Are McVitie's giving me money?
Writer: No.
Producer: Well no then.
Writer: Is that it?
Producer: Take out the call to action.
Writer: The "like and subscribe"?
Producer: The "like and subscribe". I don't like it.
Writer: But how will anyone know it's a youtube video if no-one says "like and subscribe"?
Producer: I'm going to have to ask you to get all the way off my back about this. Just streamline the whole sponsored segment right into the video, as if it were normal speech.
Writer: But sponsored segments never sound like normal speech. It'll still sound weird.
Producer: But not as weird. Which means more money for me.
Writer: Very smart, sir!
Producer: Is that it?
Writer: Pretty much. I wanted to check though - did you manage to smooth things over with the actor who plays BoJo? I understand that he was thinking of leaving at the end of the series.
Producer: Actually, things went terribly. He quit on the spot!
Writer: He quit on the spot?
Producer: He quit on the spot.
Writer: How are we going to make this episode then? Do we have some kind of ability to deepfake over another actor?
Producer: Actually, funny you should bring that up...
MUSICAL STING
END.
(Thanks to Ryan George's Pitch Meetings for the format inspiration and running gags!)
Writer: Yes sir, I do!
Producer: What's it about?
Writer: Well, it's for the newest episode of our YouTube series, "BoJo derps a Brexit", and this one is about the upcoming trade deal with Australia.
Producer: Go on...
Writer: Well, I've managed to make this one super short and punchy - it's less than a minute long!
Producer: Won't it be difficult to put in the sponsored product placement in an episode that short?
Writer: Actually it was super easy, barely an inconvenience!
Producer: Oh, really?
Writer: Yeah, I go straight into it. See, here's how the sketch starts:
INT PRESS BRIEFING ROOM
BOJO: Think of the potential that we have. I want a world in which we send you Marmite, and you send us Vegemite. But first...
BOJO HOLDS UP A PACKET OF TIM TAMS, AWKWARDLY TO CAMERA, GURNING.
BOJO: ...I'd like to thank the sponsor of this episode, these wonderful Arnott's Tim Tams. How long can the British people be deprived of the opportunity to have Tim Tams...
BOJO WAVES PACKET OF TIM TAMS AROUND DOWN TO OBVIOUSLY DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THEM
BOJO: ...at a reasonable price? Don't forget to Like and Subscribe, and hit the Bell icon if you want to be notified whenever we release a new video.
BOJO PUTS THE PACKET OF TIM TAMS DOWN OFF CAMERA
BOJO: Anyway, there is a huge amount that we can do...
Producer: That works!
Writer: Thanks, I worked hard on it.
Producer: There are a couple of things though. First, BoJo should say "Arnotts Tim Tams" the second time, and definitely emphasise "Arnotts".
Writer: Won't that sound kind of forced? Does anyone call them that when discussing them in real life?
Producer: No, but Arnotts are insisting on it as part of the sponsorship deal.
Writer: Oh, OK. Pleasing the sponsors is tight!
Producer: But secondly, because this is a political broadcast, it doesn't have to be held to the same advertising standards as regular youtube videos. You don't have to draw attention to that fact that it's a sponsored segment.
Writer: Wow wow wow wow wow. Wow.
Producer: So, just say that we can send Australia penguins in return instead, or something
Writer: ...but isn't Australia closer to Antarctica than us?
Producer: Penguin biscuits.
Writer: Whoops!
Producer: Whoopsie!
Writer: Should I call them "McVitie's Penguins"?
Producer: Are McVitie's giving me money?
Writer: No.
Producer: Well no then.
Writer: Is that it?
Producer: Take out the call to action.
Writer: The "like and subscribe"?
Producer: The "like and subscribe". I don't like it.
Writer: But how will anyone know it's a youtube video if no-one says "like and subscribe"?
Producer: I'm going to have to ask you to get all the way off my back about this. Just streamline the whole sponsored segment right into the video, as if it were normal speech.
Writer: But sponsored segments never sound like normal speech. It'll still sound weird.
Producer: But not as weird. Which means more money for me.
Writer: Very smart, sir!
Producer: Is that it?
Writer: Pretty much. I wanted to check though - did you manage to smooth things over with the actor who plays BoJo? I understand that he was thinking of leaving at the end of the series.
Producer: Actually, things went terribly. He quit on the spot!
Writer: He quit on the spot?
Producer: He quit on the spot.
Writer: How are we going to make this episode then? Do we have some kind of ability to deepfake over another actor?
Producer: Actually, funny you should bring that up...
MUSICAL STING
END.
(Thanks to Ryan George's Pitch Meetings for the format inspiration and running gags!)
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